It’s perfectly understandable that
women cannot fully relate to this. But
if a woman wants to understand male
sexuality, the first thing she has to
understand is the power of the visual
Every year men spend billions of dollars
to look at women with little clothing
on, such as the annual Sports
Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, or with no
clothing on such as internet sites and
so-called men’s magazines. Women on the
other hand spend virtually nothing to
see unclothed men. Why? Some say that
it’s because men are socialized into
viewing women as sex objects and that
women are socialized into not viewing
men as sex objects. But if that’s true
how do those people explain gay men?
They are as aroused by pictures of naked
men as heterosexual men are aroused by
pictures of naked women.
Obviously then, it’s not socialization.
It’s that men are programmed by nature
not by society to respond sexually to
the visual. This is an area in which men
are so different than women it’s
impossible for a woman to understand. Of
course women find some men attractive.
And of course can have an intense
reaction to seeing a very appealing man.
But there’s still no comparison.
The visual alone arouses men. It takes
far more to arouse a woman than seeing
naked men. If that’s all it took most
husbands would walk around the house
naked whenever possible. And the average
heterosexual man is excited countless
times a day simply by seeing women in
person, on billboards, in magazines, on
television, and even in his imagination.
This is not the case for women. Yes,
there are some male strip shows for
women. But few women ever go, and the
few who do attend them in groups, a
"girls night out." And for every one of
those shows there are probably ten
thousand female strip shows for males,
most of whom attend alone, not as a
participant in a guys night out.
Let’s be honest. There is no magazine
featuring men’s legs for women to look
at and get aroused by. But there are web
sites and magazines of women’s legs for
men. And are women paying to view
topless men? Men pay good money to look
at topless women.
Again, that doesn’t mean that women
never get turned on by merely looking at
some men. Of course they do. But it’s
only some men -on rare occasion a
stranger, and more likely a celebrity.
Men get turned on by any sight of female
flesh and the female shape on almost any
woman. The effect of the visual in men
is so powerful that it even amazes men.
A man come over to me after hearing me
lecture on male sexuality and said, "I’ve
got a story to tell you. I was in front
of a department store and in the window
was a seated mannequin. I couldn’t
believe it, but I found myself looking
up her skirt." Here was a perfectly
normal responsible man, who found
himself looking up a skirt on an
inanimate object shaped like a woman.
That’s how instinctive it is for men to
look at female shape or flesh.
It’s perfectly understandable that women
cannot fully relate to this. But if a
woman wants to understand male
sexuality, the first thing she has to
understand is the power of the visual.
That’s why you see ads on billboards, on
TV, and in magazines for every sort of
product a man might buy accompanied by a
scantily clad woman -or sometimes just
part of her.
I recall a famous liquor ad that showed
a woman’s legs and a bottle of tequila.
No face, just beautiful legs. Would you
ever see an ad showing men’s legs?
People would laugh; it would be
considered absurd. An ad with women’s
legs is not absurd, it’s alluring.
None of this is in any way meant to
excuse inappropriate male behavior. Men
must always control themselves. But to
deny the power of the visual on men is
like denying that the earth is round.
"To
be right with God has often meant to be
in trouble with men." A.W. Tozer